Debbie Eke to be honoured at this year's Terry Fox Run

This year’s Terry Fox Run is in honour of Debbie Eke, a woman who loved her community, and was much loved by all who knew her.

Joan King, organizer of the run for the last 18 years, decided to honour Debbie —and in doing so, her family as well — to recognize all they have done to support cancer research for many years.

Last year must have been such a struggle for family, she said, knowing as they were volunteering to help with the run and gearing up to take part in it, that Debbie was facing her final weeks battling cancer. And yet they remained involved. “The Pillitteri family give so much to help raise funds for cancer research,” she said, and Debbie herself was a volunteer committed to raising funds, and also to helping those in respite care.

“These are community-minded people, and help make the world a better place,” said King.

While Debbie’s initial volunteerism was knocking on doors to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society, the last 20 years of her life were spent volunteering at Hospice Niagara, a task she took very seriously. Her volunteerism had included caring for seniors at Upper Canada Lodge, making her aware of the need for palliative care, so she attended both Niagara and Centennial Colleges, learning about death and how best to care for people who were dying, and then devoting her time to day programs at Hospice Niagara.

A long-time, active member of St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, Debbie was devoted to and given strength by her faith, said her daughter Sarah Pillitteri — a faith that sustained her in her last days at Hospice Niagara, where she died of a brain tumour last October after a year of battling cancer.

Seemingly the picture of health, she had a seizure last summer, and was quickly diagnosed with a tumour, explained Sarah, but she was able to get into Juravinski Cancer Center and have surgery quickly, followed by chemotherapy and radiation.

“She didn’t tell us how serious it was,” said Sarah — Debbie’s goal was to protect her adult children and families.

“And she was so positive throughout. We didn’t know about it until spring.”

She had been diagnosed with glioblastoma, the most aggressive kind of brain tumour, a fatal type most associated with Canadian singer Gord Downie.

Sarah said she still cherishes the time she was able to spend with her mother, “who had the best memory. She told the best stories.”

Debbie’s five weeks in hospice, surrounded by people who  cared for her with love and compassion, “was a gift to us. A gift of time,” said Sarah. “They took such good care of her — they were really wonderful.”

"The entire family was allowed to gather in the hospice family room," including their son Darren,who travelled from Ottawa to be with his mother, Debbie's husband Dave Eke told The Local

They were all there for Debbie's birthday to celebrate with her, "a joyous occasion," said Eke.

Dave had cared for Debbie at home for as long as he could, but Debbie’s mobility was becoming more limited, and it was becoming difficult for him. Having her in Hospice Niagara “took a lot of stress out of the situation. We were able to visit her every day, and just relax and enjoy the visits, without that stress,” Sarah said.

Darren took many months off from his work in Ottawa to spend time with Debbie in Niagara, said Dave, "away from his family for weeks at a time — something he did with honour. He was so happy he did this."

Sarah had been in the habit of talking to her mother twice a day, and loved that close connection. When Debbie was in hospice, “I took time off work (as an elementary school teacher), and has some really good conversations with her. We talked a lot about family. And she was just so positive, right to the end. She told us not to be sorry, that she was going to the best place. She had a lot of faith, and she leaned on it. She talked about how grateful she was that she had that faith.”

Sarah said her mother reminded her of a belief she continues to hold close — that “love never dies.”

Her mother is still with her in so many ways, she added, and still talks to her. “She says she’s in a better place, that she’s not in any pain.”

Debbie and Dave moved to their first home in Garrison Village shortly after they were married, and where they brought up their family, Sarah and Darren. Later they lived in a beautiful home on the Niagara River Parkway, but had moved about years before Debbie became ill. Dave still lives in their home in St. Davids.

Her mother remained involved in the Niagara-on-the-Lake community, which she loved, said Sarah.

“My parents always felt Niagara-on-the-Lake was their home,” And during her last few years, Debbie “was really enjoying her grandkids and her friends.”

Sarah and her husband, Mike Pillitteri, have three children, Lucas, Leo and Sophia, and live in NOTL — Mike runs the family winery, Riverview Cellars. Debbie and Dave’s son Darren went to university in Ottawa and has stayed there, forging a career with the federal government, while he and his wife Carmen raise their two daughters, Rosie and Anais.

Sarah said although her mother couldn’t see as much of Darren and his family as she would have liked to, she loved and made the most of the time they spent together.

After his retirement from GM, Dave had spent many years in politics, both regional and municipal, and became Lord Mayor of NOTL in 2010.  Debbie had many interests after her own retirement from GM. All of her activities seemed to involve bringing pleasure to others — her love of flowers and her garden led to a second career creating beautiful arrangements for many weddings and other special occasions, and she was always giving gifts that came from her heart, gifts she had made. She enjoyed making wreaths — many of her friends will continue to cherish them, says Sarah — and she also crocheted a lot, another source of gifts made with love.Gardening was her passion, and she created a beautiful new garden in their home after they moved to St. Davids, where Dave enjoys keeping up the garden for Debbie.

He lost the love of his life when Debbie died, and still can’t talk about her without becoming emotional, but he is able to joke about the garden, Sarah said, fearing he won’t do as good a job as Debbie would want.

Sarah and Mike remain committed to raising money for cancer research through Team Pillsy and the Terry Fox run, knowing how much the Terry Fox Foundation has accomplished through projects it has funded.

“My mom’s outcome wasn’t what we had hoped, but advances made through cancer research helped prolong her life, and definitely her quality of life at the end,” she said.

The care cancer patients receive at Juravinski, where Debbie was treated, “allows them to have more time together, time to share and to say goodbye to loved ones.”

Sarah will be volunteering at Simcoe Park Sunday, and whether riding their bikes, running or walking, as they have for more than a decade, her family will be involved at the event which is honouring Debbie. Registration is at 9 a.m., the run begins at 10 a.m., and participants can run, walk, ride, or rollerblade a five or 10-kilometre route through the Old Town. To register or donate, visit run.terryfox.ca/55866

This story was updated after more information was provided by Dave Eke.