Red One: Christmas meets 'Mission Impossible' in a happy holiday mess

The Snapshot: A weird mix of a spy thriller and buddy comedy make this a Christmas gift worthy of being returned to the store.

Red One

4 out of 10

PG, 2hrs 3mins. Holiday Action Fantasy Comedy.

Directed by Jake Kasdan.

Starring Chris Evans, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Lucy Liu, Kiernan Shipka, Wesley Kimmel and J. K. Simmons.

Now Playing at Landmark Cinemas, Pen Centre, St. Catharines, Film.Ca Cinemas, Cineplex Winston Churchill & VIP and Cineplex Oakville & VIP.

Call it a code red: this is a Christmas movie in a true emergency. What do you think would happen if Santa Claus was kidnapped on Christmas Eve, and the mythological FBI had to find him? Surely it would be a spy buddy comedy, right?

What kind of a movie is this?

Amazon and MGM’s bloated and boisterous Red One follows this insane premise as Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson team up to rescue Santa Claus so they can - as they mockingly insinuate a few times - save Christmas for the entire world.

Red One is an equal mix of spy thriller and buddy comedy that makes as much sense as eggnog in the summer. The whiplash tones between the serious kidnapping plot of Santa mixed with the frenemies team-up between Evans and Johnson mean the film is mature and serious in one moment, while goofy and unfunny the next. 

The plot sees a Christmas witch (Kieran Shipka) kidnap Santa for an evil plot, thanks to the accidental help of hacker Jack O’Malley (Evans). Once Jack learns what he’s done, he’s forced into helping head-of-Santa-secret-service Callum Drift (Johnson) into finding Santa again before his annual deliveries.

Nearly every element in Chris Morgan’s screenplay is painfully obvious. There’s no big twist and other than the unique world building in the North Pole and their holiday-ish Navy SEAL operations, there’s little originality in the Christmas genre. The plot is as predictable as getting a gift your bought for yourself.

Director Jake Kasdan re-teams with Johnson after both of their hugely successful Jumanji movies in 2017 and 2019 for Sony. The big difference is those films had a tonal balance and clear target audience of older kids and their families.

Read more here: Jumanji is Jammin' in the Jungle (2017 review)

Red One shifts away from an effective action/comedy balance because the humour is gravely simple and childish, but the spy mystery plot is much too adult. It doesn’t help either that the script is surprisingly profane for a PG holiday movie, meaning it’s inappropriate for the young kids who would like this film the most.

Add this together with some shocking dark lighting in half the scenes and too many side plots and throwaway fantasy cameos, and the film feels like a disorganized mess.

There are a few highlights; I really enjoyed J. K. Simmons as Santa Claus, even with the little screen time he has. I also liked the finale montage when Santa finally delivers the presents, though I won’t spoil any more than that.

(Funny enough, this actually isn’t Simmons’ first time playing Santa. He voiced the character in Netflix’s charming, 2019 animated film Klaus that would go on to be nominated for an Oscar.)

However dumb it plays out, Red One is still a great time-waster for anyone who’s seen literally every other Christmas movie ever made. But this won’t be a must-see classic anytime soon.